I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
