i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
