the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
