You really coming over, don't trick.
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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