Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize