If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
