my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
All I want is dick and wine.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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