i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
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