Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
