I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
That accounts for only three of the penises
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
