Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
