i'm signing you up for texting rehab
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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