How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize