I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
