the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
