This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
