garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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