i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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