I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
