The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
