so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
