He kissed a someone with a penis
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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