normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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