the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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