You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize