I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
