I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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