i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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