Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize