Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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