Farmville is her only friend.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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