Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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