okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
And then he peed in my hair
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