So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
