when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I just found a bag of teeth...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
My breasts were aching with rage.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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