yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
