Will you blow on my dice?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
