that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
