Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
