When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
