it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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