What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
