I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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