who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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