Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I party with great urgency now.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize