I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
