fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
