Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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