Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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