I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
