I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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