We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize