You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
