clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
