How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You dont lie about slip and slides
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
