Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize