I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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