he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
