Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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