Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
