wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
