theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
