Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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